35 Church Signs That Sound Very, Very Dirty

4 min


If we have to be brutally honest, not many people go to church nowadays. And most of those who go, do that from habit probably engraved in them by their parents. In a way it’s sad because churches should be the place where we seek spiritual and life guidance, purpose and enlightenment. Yet today most of us are trying to find those things trough experimenting, following our own path, leaving the church behind.

Like any good shepherd, the church is trying to get its lost sheep back, and one way is with signs posted on the side of the road or in front of the church. They usually put up inspirational bible quote, the topic of discussion in mass, or a simple sentence that might inspire you to stop and go to church. And sometimes the person responsible for the church sign needs to double-check what he’s putting up, because it might not be very church-appropriate.

See these seemingly normal church signs that sound very sexual to those of us with dirty minds.

1. Haha

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2. Haven’t Counted Them Yet

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3. Duh

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4. He Won’t Judge

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5. Talking About The Back Entrance?

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6. True Enough

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7. Not Something To Brag About

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8. I’m Coming

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9. He Might Join You

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10. Wow, Is He That Punctual With His Climaxes ?

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11. Check Your Abbreviations Next Time

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12.Yup…

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13. No Other Skills Required

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14. They Swallow

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15. Thanks, I’ll Pass

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16. Well, I Don’t Call Mine That

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17. I Didn’t Realize I Was His Type

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18. That’s How It Usually Goes For Everyone

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19. He’s That Good

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20. Sounds Fun

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21. Good Luck Getting That Image Out Of Your Head

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22. No

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23. Because “I Forgive You” Isn’t Good Enough

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24. Another One?

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25. Tried It. Next

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26. Well, I Don’t Want To Brag…

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27. What Do You Want It For?

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28. No It’s Not

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29. It Must’ve Been Some Night, I Don’t Remember

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30. A Normal Lubricant Is Also Good

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31. That’s One Skilful Tongue

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32. All Singles Know This

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33. Never Give Up

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34. I Don’ Want Jesus In My Crack

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35. Try It Before You Buy It

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All of us who laughed are probably going to hell.

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Nick Guli

Nick Guli is a writer at Explosion.com. He loves movies, TV shows and video games. Nick brings you the latest news, reviews and features. From blockbusters to indie darlings, he’s got his take on the trends, fan theories and industry news. His writing and coverage is the perfect place for entertainment fans and gamers to stay up to date on what’s new and what’s next.
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