For men, sex is often presented as the ultimate area of machismo, where men are expected to take charge and be a paragon of confidence. Unfortunately, attitudes like this have led to the opposite effect – Indiana University statistics indicate that 30% of 18-24-year-old men have no sex at all. This in itself is not cause for worry – after all, there is no expectation that any person needs to engage in sexual activity. However, with a backdrop of negative attitudes and expectations in the bedroom, it’s likely that many men have an unhealthy relationship with their sex drive. The solution? Self-discovery.
What makes you tick
Self-exploration is a way that men can learn what drives them and what their sexuality means to them, and provides hints on how they might go about looking for a partner. The process of self-exploration has scientific weight behind its benefits: a 2015 study published by the NCBI highlights the benefits of self-exploration in establishing sexual preferences and building confidence. You can start this process through self-experimentation, for instance by using sex toys designed specifically for men to recreate an intimate experience, and through taking a meditative approach to your sexual pleasure and drive.
Meditation and mindfulness
That meditation can come in the form of mindfulness. Mindfulness is a way to slow down the everyday actions you take, right down to breathing, to gain a better understanding of your body. You can practice this during self-exploration as well as throughout the rest of the day. Observe your body, your sensations, and what your actions make you feel within yourself. This will help to give you a really in-depth view of your sexual drive and what you might look for in a partner.
Developing a connection
On to a potential partner, then. How can you be sure you click sexually? What steps should you be willing to take? Ideally, an understanding partner knows that sex isn’t something to simply be jumped into, regardless of anxiety and stress. The same tools you use to learn about yourself should be used in the bedroom – patience, an open mind, and perhaps even mindfulness. Putting yourself in the situation, and committing to learning about your partner while expressing yourself openly, will build an incredibly healthy sexual relationship.
Curbing the sex drought for young men is difficult, but the answer lies in the mind. Building a healthy self-image and learning about your own passions and desires is crucial to enabling this.