How often do you stand in front of a mirror naked and take a good look at your body? Like many, your answer is probably rarely if not never. For most of us, the prospect of getting naked in the cold light of day is enough to break us out in a sweat. And who can blame us? Every day we’re bombarded with images of people with better bodies, better make-up and seemingly better lives than us. Although we try to brush it aside and assure ourselves “it’s photoshopped” or “they’ve got a team working on their look”, we’re only half convinced and the same feelings of self-doubt creep in. Isn’t it time to break the cycle?
It doesn’t matter how good your sex life is, whether you’re in a relationship or not, everyone should embrace their sexual self. Owning your sexuality is about developing erotic intelligence, understanding your body’s sensation and syncing in and recharging your sexual energy. After all, open sexual energy contributes to our vitality, creativity and sense of well-being.
Don’t hide away! It’s time to break your negative attitudes and embrace your sexuality — and here’s how.
Get Naked and Reconnect with Your Body
Your body is incredible, so don’t shy away from it. It may be impossible to erase every negative thought and insecurity you have about your body — even the most self-assured among us have hang-ups — but becoming comfortable in your body and learning to love it, flaws and all, is vital.
Building a relationship with your body is the same as creating any kind of relationship — it takes work, understanding and patience. Transforming the way you experience your body isn’t going to happen overnight, so start small. Next time you have a shower, instead of dashing from the bathroom to bedroom, and getting dressed as quickly as possible, take a moment to look at your body in the mirror. Focus on the parts that you like and turn any negatives thoughts on their head by focusing on your body’s functionality. For example, if you hate your big calves, think about how your leg muscles help you run and walk.
Take a few minutes every day to appreciate your body. Over time your body confidence will build, and you’ll start to see your body in a different, more positive way.
Repeat Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations aren’t just for happy-clappy hippy types who sit around in a circle chanting about changing the world — although there’s nothing wrong with that. Positive affirmations are something we all naturally do, often without realising it. We might utter “I can fix this” after a poor review meeting with our boss, or tell ourselves “I can do this” once we’ve hit our limit in a workout. Somehow just by uttering those words we’re filled with an extra boost of motivation — shifting our outlook from negative to positive.
You can extend the same principals to your sexual self. Aim to say a few positive affirmations every day and trick your mind into thinking more positively. What you say is completely up to you — think about what you’d like to hear about yourself and say that. It may be something like “I am a beautiful, strong woman and I value myself” or “I am hot and sexy, and I’m living my best life” — whatever works for you, just say it and mean it. Over time you’ll start to believe it. Positive affirmations are the ultimate exercise in “faking it till you make it”.
Get Intimate with Yourself and Experiment with Touch
What better way to get in touch with your sexuality than to physically touch yourself? Masturbation may be uncomfortable to talk about, but it’s one of the best ways to start feeling yourself again (pun intended). Not only does touching ourselves and indulging in self-pleasure pack a punch for our sexual selves, but it also has innumerable health benefits that enhance our overall well-being and happiness.
You don’t even have to masturbate daily to feel the benefits of self-touch. Try spending a few minutes every day massaging your body and reconnecting with how you feel. Start at your feet and work your way up slowly and sensually. Embrace every sensation and notice what feels good, and what doesn’t. Play with pace, pressure and rhythm and relish in the various bodily responses that each evokes. You’ll be surprised how quickly your self-experiments translate into better sex and better relationships with yourself and others.
Push Your Sexual Boundaries
Our lives are busy and it’s easy for our sex life to take a backseat amidst the chaos of bills, friends, family and work. It’s all too easy to become disenchanted with the erotic side of life and go through the same old self-care routines. But pushing your sexual boundaries can open you up to a whole new world of sensuality and pleasure you didn’t know was possible.
Sensual massages are an amazing way to open up. Designed to increase your sexual energies, sensual massages stimulate your erogenous zones and titillate your entire body to leave you feeling sexually awakened and erotically reinvigorated. Sure, you may feel initially uncomfortable at the prospect of making your body vulnerable to the touch of a stranger, but as the session goes on you’ll unwind and any self-doubt or insecurities slowly melt away — sounds like heaven, right?
Let Loose and Laugh
Don’t take life so seriously. You may hate your cellulite or worry about your stretch marks, but in the grand scheme of life, they don’t matter. Overthinking is like a poison, once you start noticing things you don’t like about yourself it’s all too easy to fall down the rabbit hole of self-doubt, and even self-hatred. So lighten up. Find things that take you out of your head and into the present moment.
Move, dance, laugh, have fun and enjoy living life. There are thousands of ways to let your hair down and enjoy your body and energy — belly dancing, team sports, rebel bingo, the list goes on. Whatever your taste, prioritise the things that make you feel good because the happier you are, the more connected with yourself you become. It’s a win/win.
Author Bio: Rose Collete Aston is the resident blogger for London Tantric, a prestigious, personable and professional Tantric Massage Agency in London. Rose has extensive experience as both a giver and receiver of therapeutic massage, meditation and breathing techniques.