Several years ago, people might tell a different story about how they met their significant other. We were not as confident to tell we met them through a dating app. But those days are gone. Smartphones have transformed the way we look for love. Nowadays, swiping left and right is the new normal for finding a romantic relationship.
Yet, for some people, online dating feels like an unsolvable puzzle. Is that you? Do you have trouble finding “the one”?
While the number of people using online dating services is rising, many people are unaware of the dangers of online dating. In fact, the rise of online dating scams has led to many people having trouble finding a relationship and are instead being scammed out of their hard-earned money.
Today, we will talk about how to maximize your time on dating apps and ensure success.
The difference between meeting people online and in real life
Before we move forward, it is important to note that meeting someone online is fundamentally different than meeting someone in real life. It is a different game.
For starters, when you use online dating apps, you have some information about the person you talk to before you meet. You can read a short profile bio or have a conversation through text or email. In real life, the only way to know a thing or two about someone is if you have been set up by a friend.
Yes, people have always used intermediaries, including friends, relatives, colleagues, or even priests, to find a suitable partner. But online dating goes further in the layers of anonymity, and that anonymity is something to keep in mind in order to protect yourself from suspicious people and dating scams.
Nevertheless, online dating is a true way of connecting people through common interests.
How do dating apps work?
One reason why people do not enjoy success online is because they do not fully understand how the algorithm works. Dating apps and their algorithm have transformed the way people meet and develop relationships.
In a nutshell, these applications are search tools. They use algorithms to match people up using personal data. They collect info like age, app activity, location, and preferences, and they match you up with other people.
But another factor we forget is user interaction. It plays a huge role in the predictions of the algorithm. The more you use the app, the better the algorithm is at predicting what you want.
For example, if you swipe people with glasses on Tinder, you will notice that the algorithm will give you more options with people wearing glasses. Dating ups make matches based on your reaction and engagement with potential matches. Another example is if you do not engage with people having tattoos, the algorithm will decrease the frequency you see people with tats.
Apps you a similar algorithm, but that doesn’t mean each app is the same. The algorithm is similar, yet different. Tinder uses the swipe model, and it is based on software called the Elo rating system. It was a program originally designed to rank chess players. Yet, Tinder used it to rank how people interact with profiles. You get an Elo score based on how others swiped on you.
So, the best way to get matches is to use the app often. The more you use it, the more data it has on you. Bumble, on the other hand, has a slightly different algorithm. Only women can message first, and matches disappear if there are no messages within the first 24 hours. While there is no statement from the company about how it works, it does seem to be a basic search and filter feature.
OkCupid has a more robust dating profile system, with many questions you can answer and provide personal information.
Tips For Success
Now that we know how dating apps work and the difference between online dating and real-life dating, let’s talk about tips.
Pick apps wisely
Remember, online dating is not a one-cure-for-all system. One app doesn’t work for everyone. Be selective about which apps you use. Some have a reputation for being hookup apps, while others try to find a more serious relationship. Use what you want and prefer.
Be honest about yourself
People tend to fall for people who are similar to themselves. That includes interests like pet preferences, religion, desire for children, hobbies, etc. If you are not honest about yourself, you can match with someone who has different interests than you.
Choose a photo that reflects you
Always opt for a photo that puts your best foot forward. Because people online haven’t met you in real life, the photo has huge importance. It is the first impression people get about you. Specific attributes that increase attractiveness, like a genuine smile, should be featured in your photo.
The best photo, according to research, is one where you smile and your head is slightly tilted.
Speak about what makes you interesting
Yes, we should not brag about ourselves a lot. But when it comes to online dating, you should put some effort into stressing what makes you interesting.
Do not write a two-page essay. People swipe quickly. So, two or three sentences should be enough.
Do not write only about you
There is an ideal balance when it comes to writing your profile. And that is 70% of the content should be about you and 30% about what you are looking for in a partner.
Be open-minded
Let’s be honest; many relationships are not 100% what you were looking for. But do not limit yourself. You might say I would never have imagined myself with someone who loves dogs. I am a cat person. But in the end, that dog person might be the perfect match for you.
Keep conversations short, yet important
When it comes to online dating, you should keep the conversation short. You do not want to reveal too much before your meeting in real life. But you do have to make an effort to get to know someone. Ask about specific parts of the profile, likes, dislikes, and so on.
Always have fun
Remember, using online apps should be about fun. It should never feel like work. If at any point feels like a chore, you are not enjoying yourself.
What strategies to use for attracting a quality partner
Now let’s talk about how you can strategically position yourself to be in a better shape to attract a partner.
Use humor and wit
Ask 10 people, and almost all of them will tell you the reason they love their partner is he/she makes them smile. Without humor, it is almost impossible for a relationship to function. So, improve your humor game. And if you are good at telling jokes and making people laugh, use it to your advantage in the profile.
Have a positive attitude
Nobody wants someone who complains all the time. Your romantic partner shouldn’t feel pity for you. So, make sure to use a positive attitude in your profile.
Write what you are looking for
A lot of people make the mistake of writing their profile bio all about themselves. How will a potential partner know what you are looking for?
Do not cram too much information about yourself. Some of it should be about what you want in a partner. For example, you can write, “I would like to spend time outdoors and looking for like-minded adventurous individuals to have fun with”.
Show emotional availability
If your bio says you are a highly driven person focused on your career, you can forget about someone swiping you. You are looking for a relationship online, not a promotion.
If you are looking for a hookup, write that. If you want a serious relationship, write it as well. You do not want to attract people who expect more than you are willing to give.
Use the word love
After all, love is what you are looking for, right? Men and women are attracted to the word when they read it in your profile bio. Other words that have a similar effect are heart, romantic, and relationship.
Common mistakes to avoid
Let’s talk briefly about some of the mistakes you have to avoid when you use dating apps:
- Avoid false advertising
- Do not be too picky or selective
- Do not engage in generic and boring conversations
- Try to avoid speaking about yourself all the time
- Do not use group pictures
- Do not exchange too many messages before the first date
- Avoid using photos with the opposite sex
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