The New Year is a time for fresh starts and self-reflection. It’s the time many of us resolve to lose more weight, earn more money, and take stock and improve on the most important things in our lives — and that includes our relationships.
All relationships have their ups and downs, and if you’re in a long-term relationship, you know that all relationships take a bit of work and effort. And while successful relationships have a strong foundation of communication and trust, truly happy relationships are boosted by other things like fun and intimacy.
Whether you’re in the honeymoon period of a new relationship or trudging through the daily struggles of a long-term one, here are six New Year’s resolutions to put the fire back in your relationship.
- Create Time to Play
Ever heard the expression “couples who play together, stay together”? Well, it turns out that there’s a whole load of truth in it. Scientific experiments reveal that playing together helps couples to improve their sense of closeness and overall happiness. So dedicate some time to play — whether it’s playing a board game with a glass of wine at the end of a long day or heading out at the weekend to try a new hobby like rock climbing — anything that takes you out of the mundanity of the daily grind will do. The point is to let go, have fun and laugh.
In fact, many people in long-term relationships claim that fun and laughter are the keys to their longevity. Making fun a priority helps you to relieve stress and defuse tension, and encourages you to enjoy your relationship to its fullest.
- Prioritise Sensual Connectivity
Whether you’re starting out in a new relationship or you’ve been with your partner for twenty years, sexual connection and sensual intimacy are integral. Passion and sexual excitement are often two of the first things to fade in a relationship, worn down by the stresses and strains of everyday life, but losing your sexual connection with your partner can be an insurmountable blow to your relationship.
It’s important to make time for sex and intimacy. Spontaneous sex can be exciting, but if both your schedules are packed full, there’s no shame in agreeing on a time and setting aside a part of your day to get intimate. It’s not just about getting down to it either — you want to relish in your sensuality and do things that challenge and awaken your sensual connection. A sensual couple’s massage is perfect. By stimulating your erogenous zones, it helps to reignite your sexual energy and, best of all, not only is it a deeply intimate experience to share with your partner, but the novelty of the experience can also work wonders for your relationship. Did you know that when we try something new with our partner, our brains are flooded with serotonin — the same chemical that is released when we first fall in love? You can literally trick your brain into falling in love with your partner all over again.
- Say ‘I Love You’ Everyday
Those three magic words — I love you — pack a serious punch when it comes to feeling close to our partners. Studies have even found that receiving and expressing messages of affection improves both the happiness of the couple and the individual. That doesn’t mean you should force yourself to say it or set a timer each day to remind yourself to tell your loved one you care, but, instead, you should express it whenever you feel it. Whether you’re out walking the dog, shopping for groceries, or you’re six episodes into your latest Netflix binge, when it comes to those three magic words, the more times you say it, the merrier.
- Do a Digital Detox
You may be one of the many people out there who met their partner through a dating app, but that doesn’t mean it should remain a presence throughout your relationship. Research has found that having a phone out during a face-to-face conversation — even if it isn’t touched — reduces people’s enjoyment. It may seem like a small thing, and you may even have to be tied to your phone for work, but making time to be with your partner without the temptation of scrolling or checking your emails is well worth it. Not only will your partner feel like they’re your priority, but you too will be able to focus your attention on your partner.
Doing a digital detox can also help you to overcome some of the problems caused by social media. Although social media is a great way to keep in contact with old friends and distant relatives, it’s often those closer to home who suffer from your unhealthy relationship with it. How many of us have fallen down the rabbit hole of stalking our partner’s ex, or spent hours obsessing over an innocent photo on our partner’s feed? Social media can be a hotbed of jealousy, suspicion and toxic behaviour. Spend more time engaging with your partner face to face and less time virtually.
- Learn to Listen
This next point is an extension of the last one — learn to listen. We all know how frustrating it feels when we pour our heart and soul out and really open ourselves up to our partner, only to realise they weren’t even listening. It’s a sign of disrespect and it makes us feel awful. The problem is many of us don’t even realise that we’re doing it. We comfort ourselves with the knowledge that we talk to our partners every day. But, as they say, there’s a difference between hearing and listening.
Listening is an active act that takes energy and empathy. It requires you to understand what your partner is really saying and respond in a thoughtful way. The good news is, listening is a skill, which means that it can be practiced to perfection. Resolve to spend ten minutes every day talking to your partner and really listening. Be mindful of your empathy, be understanding and actively engage with what your partner is saying. Over time, it will be natural and your relationship will be better for it.
- Keep Time For Yourself
Relationships are important and when you’ve finally found a person who you want to be with, it can be tempting to ignore everything else and pour yourself fully into it. But your partner should be part of your world, not your entire world. Dependence in relationships is never healthy and often leads to devastating break ups.
Create time to do things separately — see friends; workout; read. Don’t lose yourself in that other person and make sure that you’re allowing your partner to have their own time away from you, too.
Author bio: Rose Colette Aston is the founder of London Tantric a prestigious, personable and professional Tantric massage agency in London.
0 Comments