Let’s face it, we all love gaming and i’m pretty sure the vast majority of us love sexy ladies. So with that in mind, what better way could be spent on this cold June evening than by warming our cockles next to some fine videogame talent? Enjoy, but remember – please for the love of god don’t prep yourself with Kleenex…
5) Lara Croft
It was a tight one (hello!) to have Lara in the top 5 because her rugged semi-masculine action capabilities make her less of a lady and more of an intimidating pain-dealing force, but there was no way this iconic heroine (represented in movie form by the saucy Angelina Jolie) was going to miss out on this list for all the service she’s offered us for the past decade or so. It’s funny to think those combat shorts have never gotten old after all these years. Lucky us.
4) Tifa Lockhart
Tifa (or Queen La-Tifa as she can also be hilariously known as) is one of the main protagonists in Final Fantasy VII, and whilst I’ve yet to really immerse myself in a Final Fantasy title to date it’s safe to say that there’s a few places i’d like to immerse myself with her – IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN (ha ha ha!) All innuendo aside, Tifa has an absolutely huge personality and her honesty and kindness just jiggles around like a pair of wet, sopping… friendly things… I try.
3) Triss Merigold
I ask you – what other videogame heroine has ever been the centerfold in a Playboy magazine? None, that’s who – just Witcher 2’s Triss Merigold. Spells aren’t the only thing she can cast by the way; here at Explosion we’re enchanted by almost everything about her. She may be the love child of an elderly Polish man but what he may lack in sexual vigor he more than makes up for in his offerings of Trissy goodness.
I’ve never been a fan of anime, dating simulators or indeed the arcade classic Qubert – and yet with that said, there’s something very saucy about Atlus’s subsequent concoction, Catherine. From the picture you may form the most stereotyped opinion of her and you’d be wrong to do that – there’s more to Catherine than just a pair of bouncing bajungas. In a rather interesting and educated spin on things, Catherine (with a C) is used throughout the game as a clear binary opposition to protagonist Vincent’s long-term partner Katherine (with a K) – offering the player two perspecives: commitment or promiscuity. Very nice.
1) Juliet Starling
Lollipop lollipop, ooh lolly lollipop! This game wouldn’t be anywhere near as good without its stellar leading lady; the up-skirt mistro, the titillating haven – the one, the only Juliet Starling. Sure you can angle your camera strategically, sure you can hack n’ slash your way through waves of semi-randy zombies – but where else can you hear quality phrases such as: “It’s because of my mom that me and my sisters wear our vagina’s with pride” or “Zombies suck dick at driving”? Nowhere else, that’s for sure. We salute you Juliet! Give me a S! Give me an H! Give me an A! Give me….
Most notable runners-up: Madison Paige (Heavy Rain), Shahdee (Prince of Persia: Warrior Within), Harley Quinn (Batman: Arkham Asylum), Chloe Frazer (Uncharted 2: Among Theives), Anyone from Rumble Roses.
Are your favourites not on this list? Let us know who you’d have had instead via the comments box below! We look forward to reading them.