Seeing someone we love deep in the monstrous turmoil of addiction is heartbreaking. It makes sense to want to help them, but flat-out telling them that they need help is a foolish approach. This is a touchy, delicate and sensitive subject that requires strategy for helping them see that they need to help themselves. Here are several ways you can motivate your loved one to seek rehab.
1. Education
Many fears about rehab stem from not knowing what centers and addicts are really like. Although in truth each one is run differently, the fact of the matter is that all rehab centers are focused on one thing: recovering lives. With your loved one, find out what the amenities of the center are, and what a typical day looks like. Get to know the staff by visiting the location directly and talk with other folks staying.
2. Honesty
Honesty is the best policy. When you let your loved one know how their drug/alcohol abuse is affecting you (or ruining your life), you will be showing them how their actions affect more than just themselves. Sometimes, we as people tend to feel that we don’t matter much to people in our lives. Don’t be afraid of having a heart to heart and showing them how you feel.
3. Decision
Never push or force anyone to do something. This general principle should be a rule in life (a lot of people would be a lot kinder). Instead, encourage your loved one to seek rehab for themselves by asking them a series of questions about their lives. Questions such as what do they want from the future, how happy are they with where they are in life at the moment, and what life do they want – along with what do they think they need to do to get that life. Mention rehab as an option for helping them, asking if they feel like it would help them get to where they want.
4. Denial
A lot of us have the tendency to deny a variety of things. This is one of the most monstrous obstacles surrounding our addicted loved ones. Drugs and alcohol make it hard for addicts and users to see the world objectively. However, as there are many drug categories, there are a variety of treatment options available.
5. Support
There’s a popular misconception about rehab. One that’s disastrous to everyone who needs treatment: the myth that they will be dropped off and forgotten about. Getting to a healthier stage in life is always difficult, even more so when you’re in the throes of addiction. It is a painful process; the one you care about must know, first hand, that you will be there for him/her every step of the way. Show them. Be the support system.
6. Wrong Approach
There are a few rules about approaching an addict about their life-ruining addiction. One of those rules is to never point the finger or blame them. Another rule is to never be angry with them, even when they flat-out deny your advice the first few times. The third rule is to never be preachy, even when you feel like you know what’s best for them. Being condescending or a know-it-all never helps anybody, in any situation. These are bad approaches for getting them help.
7. Avoidance
Just as there are rules for approaching the subject, there are a few things to avoid completely: covering up or enabling their behavior, arguing with them when they’re using, feeling responsible for their choices or guilty for their actions, and threatening or lecturing them about using.
Conclusion
No matter what happens, remember that you care about them deeply. Remind them that you care about them tremendously. Let them feel comfortable with their decision, they will thank you the world over for being an accepting support system.
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