Jail Escape

It is beyond me how somebody got away with making a game based around some dude in a t-shirt and jeans with no jail tattoos claiming to be breaking out of jail.  Alright so now I’ll back it up and explain why the game is below average at best.  Jail Escape is a side-scroller that boasts graphics as unappealing as the title.  You begin inside of an open cell and from there you keep it moving steady until you reach a point where there is a guard to evade or something.  If by some miracle you manage to make it past the first couple of areas (because it’s boring once you knock-out the first guard without knowing how you even did it) then good for you!  Check the timer and see if you made it to the scoreboard.

The controls are horrid.  The buttons are way too close together considering that breaking out of jail is bad-ass and requires some skill and more agility.  You absolutely won’t be getting anywhere fast enough.  Instead you will be strolling through in that casual fantasy-football-guy getup punching gaurds (with helmets on) in the head and knocking them out. Yea, fortunately for them the actual game doesn’t require much on your part unless you are honestly trying.  There isn’t much to look at either, generally speaking the game is basically a huge hit and miss.  It is easy to see how someone could get hooked because it is challenging but that is more or less due to the clunkiness of the touch-sceen controls.  I suppose if you had a tablet you might be in luck, and that’s assuming you don’t get ads in-game.

I was thinking that maybe there is something else to be said about why this game is the way it is but with all the generosity in my heart, I’ve got nothing.  Let’s go over the main menu, or better yet the music.  It literally sounds like a track someone would play in some really bad HBO after-dark erotica, I guess that could be considered classy though.  The character movement is fluent which leads me to believe that this was just a shot in the dark on the developers part because you can see where the effort was put and where it wasn’t. Still though you have to give them some credit for trying to make the game suspenseful.

On the flip side the game is free and you can’t hate on that.  As a side-scroller it has a whole lot of fancy competition on the marketplace right now.  For lower end devices I say skip it, for higher end devices, seriously you can do better.  It’s not a complete waste of time but it is also a bad excuse for “just killin’ time.” So pretty much just stay away, but if not then the game is available in the Android app store.  Alright I’ve got it, if you are actually in jail and you want to play this game.  I recommend you use it as a what-not-to do guide for when all that digging with lunch spoons finally pays off.